Cleaning up old mail I found this:
----- Forwarded message -----
As Seen in a Dog's Diary:
8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
As seen in a Cat's Diary:
Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to
eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining
the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around
their feet while they were walking almost succeeded --
must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on
their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am
capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to
plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
I was placed in solitary throughout the event.
However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.
More importantly I overheard that my confinement was
due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this
is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and
seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit.
The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant,
and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement
in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time......
----- End forwarded message -----
